The Evolution of Dating (Essay)

As the world is so ever changing and evolving, so do the aspects that make up the universe that we live in such as love. Although the concept of love itself remains abstractly the same in its whole, the ideals of love change through the evolving cultural influences. For instance, reflect on the dating realm of the modern culture, then our parents’ culture, then our grandparents’ culture, and so on and so forth. The essence of dating is drastically different. From going to a local diner and a dancing the night away to some classic jazz, to an adventurous evening followed by a movie at the drive-in theater, to our modern “Netflix and chill” and maybe order pizza if he’s feeling generous type of date. Essentially, as cultures evolve throughout time, the essence of dating will evolve in alignment with the reflective rituals of the culture too.

In earlier times, dating was revered with a higher romantic aspect compared to modern day dating. For instance, in Andrew Marvell’s poem “To His Coy Mistress”, he daydreams on how he and his lover “would sit down, and think which way / To walk, and pass our long love’s day” (Marvell 3-4). This implies the simplicity in romance through the intimate connection of sharing thoughts and strolling together through life. The lovely imagery enhances the beauty of courtship in earlier times as well. Marvell even demonstrates a more revered value upon sexuality or “that long preserved virginity” (Marvell 28). Men had more respect for woman and didn’t have the sexual expectations that modern day men possess when courting with someone. Marvell’s diction with the word choice of “long preserved” upholds an endearing sacredness upon sexuality as well. Whereas sexuality in the modern culture is regarded so loosely upon due to the influences of music, television, and other forms of media. As provocative content started becoming more open and public, it made sex less of a taboo subject and a more comfortable aspect to openly become involved in. For instance, television shows such as Shameless, Gossip Girl, and Sex in the City display sexual scenes that portray sex as being appealing which essentially encourages a sexually open audience. Furthermore, modern day dating can be defined by Anita Jain’s lines in her article “Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist?” of people who are “dating for dating’s sake” (Jain 4). A man can have you over for a home cooked meal asking you advice “about his long-distance Japanese girlfriend” or “how to ask out the cute girl from his gym” (Jain 4). The courtship itself is taken far less romantically and far less seriously because the other party could be “casually dating a number of people” like in Randall Munroe’s humorous cartoon, “Boyfriend”. So not only is sex taken upon more loosely, but people in the modern day culture are much looser upon dating in general.

Personally speaking, I am ashamed to partake in being a member of our culture due to the disgusting disregard and disrespect in the dating world. We have lost our values and our morals with dating. We’re a culture that evolved from romantic courtships to sexual flings. From endearing entitlements to nameless partners. Perhaps maybe it’s because I’m such a hopeless romantic and that’s what’s preventing me from conforming to our culture. Or perhaps my mindset is stuck in another time frame, because the culture and time undeniably evolve the essence of dating.

#essay #dating #love #evolution